Thor: The dark ring around my tub

Marvel Studios has come up with a solid formula to keep its film franchises chugging along as money-printing juggernauts bulldozing presidential portraits into their coffers. The formula calls for equal parts action, humor and romance. The "equal parts" statement could be arguable at this point. They found with the original Iron-Man (2008) that an ample dose of quips is good enough to make the audience forget about the nonsensical parts of any cinematic offering. The only problem is, formulas get tired. You can only go to the well so often before it just becomes lame and tired.

And that's how I'm starting to feel about it after being subjected to one hour and fifty-two minutes of one-liners, inanity and superhero beatdowns in "Thor: The Dark World" (2013). Alan Taylor's sequel to 2011's "Thor" is certainly a funny film and, at times at least, entertaining. The jokes, however, are becoming a bit predictable. If the current trend continues, my 12-year-old son will be coming up with better one-liners than "Thor 3" can offer.

But, really, that's not what bothers me most about "The Dark World." What bothers me most is that I cannot take any of it, not one ounce, with any level of seriousness. Most superhero films succeed because they allow you to immerse yourself in the fiction of the worlds they've created. You don't have to wonder how it is Thor flies or whether it's reasonable for a lightning-wielding demigod to be infatuated with a mere mortal down here in good old Midgard. When I first heard about plans to do the original Thor film, I thought it just wouldn't work. I frankly never much liked Thor as a Marvel superhero. I feared the movie would be lame and silly, but they made it work. The plot was tight and self contained. The romance between Thor and Jane seemed contrived and lacked chemistry, but the story worked and the action was satisfying.

In "The Dark World" we must accept the idea of dimension-jumping, spaceship-flying Dark Elves as a dire threat to Asgard and Earth. There's too much about the battle scenes--especially those involving the spacecraft--that just doesn't seem to fit. The whole bit about the ancient Dark Elf threat to Asgard is easy enough to swallow, but then it just gets weird. And they overcomplicate things with the world alignment business that will allow Malekith (Christopher Eccleston) to use the Aether as a weapon to destroy Asgard. The bigger problems arise back on Earth where scientists who run around with Galaxy Note-like devices try to explain what's happening in sciencey-sounding terms. I'm sure it all looks and sounds really cool--to third graders, but it's just plain insipid to anyone over the age of 12.

I'm honestly not sure whether it was supposed to be absurd or whether they thought it would be appropriate for comic book fare to not really make any sense. It felt almost as if the actors were ad-libbing the silliness that escaped their lips during the scenes in which they discussed the alignments and portals and vortexes.

Frankly, I had a lot of trouble caring about anything that happened in this film. At least in the first one I felt empathy for Thor when he was tossed out of Asgard and left to walk the mortal plane as a regular guy. In this sequel there's very little vested interest in the characters. Most of them are endearing and amusing, but it's hard to really make it work in less than two hours. If this were a TV sitcom, I'd grow to love some of the characters, including Darcy whose lines are often lame and contrived.

There's a YouTube joke about it involving Chris O'Dowd, who is underused and misused in this film, employing his standard line from "The IT Crowd." The YouTube parody is hilarious, but it also makes me think how much better this film would have been if it were itself a parody of Thor. It dances around that line enough that it would take but a slight breeze to push it over the edge. I could easily imagine seeing Richard Ayoade step into the scene with O'Dowd when Jane calls him on a cell phone from the other side of one of those portals. No, dammit, I am not making that up. It actually happens in the movie. Instead of Richard, O'Dowd should actually be playing Roy, and Moss's entrance into the film would have elicited nothing but floor-rumbling belly laughs from me.

At least then I could have said I thoroughly enjoyed the film. As it stands, I paid way too much money to purchase a digital title.