In spite of having what would appear on the surface to be all the right ingredients for a successful action flick, Haywire somehow falls flat. It boasts a cast of highly respected silver screen staples, including Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Channing Tatum and Michael Fassbander; the star delivers punches and kicks like a female Jason Statham; and the plot is standard actioner fare involving setups and betrayal. It features enough tech and gunplay to remind one of an episode of 24, and Carano's character, Mallory Kane, is rather Jack Bauer-like.
So where does it go wrong? I know what you're thinking: Duh--they put an MMA fighter, fitness model, former American Gladiator in a starring role. Recipe for disaster. But, really, that's not it. I expected Carano to be a bad actress, to be the kind of person who reads the lines instead of acting them. While there were plenty of moments I felt she could have asserted herself more and become a more confident screen presence, on the whole I was impressed with how comfortably she settled into the role of mercenary contractor Mallory Kane. The lines slipped so easily from her lips that the dialogue just seemed real to me, not made-up exchanges designed to elicit some kind of response from the audience. I found her to be very believable in her role.
As far as being a genuine Hollywood star, yes, Carano's a little rough around the edges, but she at least proved in this role that she has the ability to do it. I'm neither an acting coach nor a director, but if I were to offer her some advice on getting into these roles, I would tell her to be more confident about it, to assert herself on screen. To hold herself as if each scene belonged to her and everyone else was just an extra. One thing many of the most respected actors do is oversell their characters and lines. Just analyze the dialogue in one of your favorite action flicks and you'll see what I mean. The cheesiest lines can sound really good when the actors deliver them fanatical conviction. So, as crazy as it sounds, I'm telling Carano--don't be afraid to overdo it.
One of the most inexplicable areas in which Haywire fails is the fight scenes. Yes, I know, it's crazy. Here's this tough, superfit woman with some wicked moves, and the fight sequences in the movie are just kind of boring. And I say that with a small level of trepidation, given that Carano could kick my ass up and down the street without working up a sweat.
There's no real drama here. Mallory gets hit, she hits back. She employs a host of familiar MMA moves to subdue her foes, but it's all utterly flat and uninteresting. You know there's something wrong with a movie's action scenes when you find yourself mentally critiquing the fighter's strategy. "Are you wanting to be a grappler or a striker? If you're doing the ground-and-pound, do the ground-and-pound. Come on now, if you get that armbar, you gotta go all out on it."
In the MMA few people escape from a deeply sunk rear-naked choke, but it happens routinely in Haywire. My biceps are actually sore from squeezing the choke holds myself while watching the fight scenes.
The fights needed to be bigger, bolder, more dramatic. Sure, Carano pulls off some pretty nifty moves, but we've seen all this before. If you're going to do it again, you've got to do it bigger and badder than your predecessors. Look at how Jason Statham does it. That's your template. Now throw in some of your own special recipe and make it your own. And do it big. If you've got three guests coming over for spaghetti, make enough for six. Or ten.
In the end all of the bad guys get beat up and Mallory Kane exacts her revenge on the guy who betrayed her. But it's all very routine. While watching the scene where the relentless tide approaches to do him in, I could not help but be reminded of a scene in another film and Leslie Nielsen's voice popped into my head: "I can hold my breath for a looooong time!"
The plot and structure are plans that I'm sure looked good on paper, but the execution was lifeless. Oh, we get flashbacks that happen seamlessly, but more often than not, these are unneeded because it's painfully obvious from the beginning what happened and who's zooming whom. Timing and delivery are key ingredients in comedy. How many times have you related what you felt was a hilarious anecdote to someone only to have them stare blankly at you at the end, leaving you to deliver the time-honored, guess you had to be there cliche?
That's exactly how I feel about Haywire. All of the right ingredients are here, the plot sounds decent--at least no worse than some successful action movies--but it just doesn't get pieced together very well. It's like Ziggy (the cartoon character) once said: It's not the big failures; it's the pitter-patter of little defeats. The little things come together to make this movie look all too much like its title.
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